Wednesday 7 August 2019

They Say

I am on my sem break, everyone so hey. This week is the 3rd week of my holiday. My daily routine would be just the same, since its a routine: wake up, ensure the house is clean, cook, do the notes, pick up my brothers & sisters in school, teach kamalia.

I love listening to the music. I always love. I have always listened to the music whilst I do the routine. These days, I decided to turn off the music & I realize one thing. I could listen to my heart, my heart actually speaks to me in various ways. That moment I realize that I have been ignoring my heart for a long time, it is hard to face the fact that I did that to myself.

These days I have been searching who is me. What I am good at. I am too aware about my weaknesses until I could not see any of my strengths. I listened to people & let them define me. I care too much what others think of me, until I realize today that I have lost myself. 

They say that "you dont look like a medical student. To be a medical student, you have to show that you are a medical student; to always be cool & serious. To always show that you are the smartest guy in the room". I say to be a medical student you dont have to show that, it is okay to be silly sometimes, but deep down inside you know you are brilliant, you know what to do with your patients. 

They say that "why do you eat & walk alone? You look lonely" I say I am just tired with people. I love to be alone. I dont feel lonely in my own company. I love to be my own company. 

They say "to be an emcee you have to do it like me, you have to do it like him". I say I cant be like him, I cant be like you, I just can be the best version of myself. 

They say pity you. "He left you & he go with another girl". I say what he does reflects who he is & not who I am. Allah knows what best for me. 

They say "text him everyday so that he knows that he is important in your life". I say I dont need all that. If he really wants to stay, he will stay. If he doesnt want to, nothing will make him stay

They say "if someone gives present during your birthday, they are the truest friends". I say I do not need that. A true friend is someone who is there for me during my hard times & he willingly to listen my endless stories.

They say "it is attractive if you can smile more often". I say I am not a robot. Sometimes world breaks me down & I feel sad & cry 

They define a beauty of a woman is based on how much likes that they got on Instagram. I define the beauty of a woman comes from the internal, based on what she does, what she serves to others, how she treats & value people. 

I have been searching myself for so damn long, until I finally find myself back today. It is such a relief. Indeed 

Dont let others define you, love. They dont know a single thing about you. What we define ourselves matter because at the end of the day, believe me its just you & yourself. & Allah. People will not be there for you. 

Sunday 12 May 2019

Medical school & me

Hi assalamualaikum,

Yaaaassss it is me, here,, writing to all of you this post.
Okay guys, let me go straight to the point, Basically, the reason why I write this entry to you guys is to share my journey as a medical student. Yup, i am 20 years old already people! Honestly, I am shocked too.

So, settle with muqaddimah pelik by sabrina, alhamdulillah. I started my journey as a medical student like 10 months ago, and yeah right now I am in semester 2. For those who are curious or first time stepping by this blog, after secondary school has ended, I continue my study in Foundation of Science, UiTM & decided to do Bachelor of Medicine & Surgery in UiTM.

The story begins with, I have been dreaming to become a doctor in my whole entire life. However, I have to face the facts that I really hate biology (yangtahujetahu). I really love mathematics. I bet that mesti some of you guys wonder, LIKE HOW?! Once you enter medical school, the first popular must ask question from a lecturer would be "korang masuk medical school because of your parents or sebab sendiri nak?" . Haaaa, then right here & right now you would be dead because soon you will know the answer for this question as the time passes. Thus, my answer for that question is it is me who wants to enter medical school, not because of my parents ask me for (they just encourage me, but i was the one who decided everything). Yeah, to make thing short, I ENTER MEDICAL SCHOOL ALBEIT I HATE BIOLOGY SO MUCH HAHAHAHA.

Guess what? I started being a medical student with being an emcee for the very first event in medical school. This one I did not predict at all. Actually I was the leader of my group for the night of kebudayaan in Hari Suai Kenal bersama Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Kolej 2019. From that, the next day, they ask me to be the emcee for the closure of the event and yasss I think it is a good start for me.

The next part would be, joining associations!! You guys know how crazy I am during school's time: I was really active in participating co-curicullar activities. I want to do exactly the same in my degree's life. Turnout, I was selected to be a part of Medical Student Association, MESTA Exco Akademik & Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Kolej. Guys, can you imagine, me being a part of exco akademik, I mean like SABRINA ARE YOU CRAZY, GIRL MACAM MANA NAK BAGI TUNJUK AJAR KAT ORANG, LIKE EXCO AKADEMIK? MUST BE INTELLIGENT GENIUS AF. (that was my sympathetic nervous system talking)

My medical school journey begins alhamdulillah, i can say as its planned. However,  things could be worst. I failed during the first test which was General Module 1. It was like a slap on myself since that was the first ever test in medical school, but I failed it. Can you guys imagine the way that I felt that time? Honestly, I was a bit stressed out. The thing is, you gotta be surprise, how are you gonna learn 50 topics in one test? I mean the preparation itself took me like 1 week, but is was not enough for me. I was really really really down that time. However, I told myself that "there will be no one can change you, unless yourself sabrina".

I can tell I changed 360 degree towards my perception in medical school. I think I take this course lightly at first. As a consequence, I decided to be passionate than ever every time I go to the lecture, tutorial class everyday. The struggle was real, I tell you guys. You don't even know what to answer everytime your batchmates ask whats your result.......... Everytime they ask, I would change the topic. That was one of the saddest part in my life.

Since that day, I told myself that nobody can change me, unless myself. I started to list all my weaknesses & strength, what are the obstacles for me that hinder me from getting flying color result, what are the best way of learning for me. At first, here, I thought that the way I learn is just the same like everybody else. However, once I enter medical school I realized that each one of us has our own way of learning. As a result, and thank you to Allah, my family & the strength they gave to me, I got A during final examination. Plus, I am so proud for everyone (the whole batch & to anyone who had been the same situation exactly like us). It was 150 topics approximately during finals & we did it!

"It doesnt matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going" - Brian Tracy
The things that keep lingering in my mind everytime I have to go for a meeting during test week :p

Yay! Alhamdulillah for everything & right now I am in semester 2. I just done answering respiratory test & yeah about 1 month and a half to sit for another finals. 

My advice to anyone who wanted to become a medical student is once you are in here, everything is going to be change. Your life will not be the same. However, if you got your passion with you, no matter how tough the road is, nobody is going to stop you. 

I once told myself that medical school wont change a bit of my life. Little did I know, this is my life. (at first, it is hard to embrace this :') hahahhahah)

So, here are a few programs that I involved; (there are some more, but I dont have the picture in my phone)

This is not a program. My housemates were celebrating my birthday. They surprised me :'))

Exco Akademik, MESTA
We won first place during Family Day!!


BAKTI SISWA : A programme under Exco Kerohanian, MESTA where we go to a village & do some activities here. We do health screening, sukaneka with orang kampung, gotong-royong, etc. One of the best thing about this programme is each one of us will be sent to family angkat! Exciting, right? 

TOBACCO RUN : A program under Free Tobacco Club where the purpose of this programme to create awareness about how dangerous tobacco is to our health. We went to UiTM Puncak Alam. This program was not just held for students, but it was opened to other people too. 

KKUS (Konvensyen Kesihatan UiTM Selangor): A program under combination of all association in UiTM Sungai Buloh. The aim is to create awareness about kanak-kanak istimewa. Very inspiring program! This program touched my heart :')

Medical Olympiad: A program under Exco Akademik, MESTA. The aim of this program is as a preparation for year 2 since they are going to sit for their pro's. A program where I was given the opportunity to be a pengarah program. I learnt a lot here. We were mainly year 1 & I am really proud of our team

DINNER YEAR 5: The most recent program I involved. My first time of being floor manager. OMG! I learnt a lot hereeeeeee&I really enjoy my work as floor manager 

Me during sem 1! 

I never thought that I belong here. It has been 10 months & I have learnt a lot. Who would have thought that I would join any program? To be one of the members to held a program? Everything that happen here is incredible. Day by day, faculty of medicine has changed me, the way I think & all. Yeah that is what happening right now. Indeed, He is a the best planner. 

Anyone who has any enquiries regarding Faculty Of Medicine, UiTM or anything, can email me yaaa :)) 

Thank you!